The Sound of Silence
by Liv Wilder
Summary: Post 5x03. Kate Beckett said they were 'together' and it struck me how far they've come. This was the result... "She's been stuck on 'Alexis hates me', and Castle's honest, but shoddy non-denial; the words, 'Leave it to me. She'll eat you alive,' still running laps around her head." One Shot. COMPLETE.


Disclaimer: Stil not mine, not matter how hard I wish.

* * *

**The Sound of Silence**

A/N: Post-5x03. I was struck by Kate openly saying that they're 'together'. So much progress. This was the result.

The silence is what gets her attention, if that's at all possible, pulling her out of her musing and back to the buzz of the bullpen – the ringing of phones and the low level hum of incipient chatter and focused activity.

She's been stuck on '_Alexis hates me?_' and Castle's honest, but shoddy non-denial; the words, '_Leave it to me. She'll eat you alive,_' joining the first three in a slow jogging circuit, making steady laps around her brain since they left the break room, coffees in hand.

So, yes, it's her partner's silence that draws her out of her lip biting contemplation and back to the space by her desk where he sits, chin in hand, clearly running some mental marathon of his own if that pensive, thoughtful look is anything to go by.

And let's face it - he's never this quiet, so she notices even more than if he were sitting there, yelling at her through a bullhorn.

The boys are bantering as usual; picking short-lived arguments with one another that they all know will go nowhere, this baseline beat to their everyday only serving to highlight Castle's withdrawal into quiet introspection.

* * *

For his part, Castle is oblivious to everything but the few short words he ripped from the same conversation he just had with Kate, her words having so much more impact on him as than anything he could ever say. His brain is stuck on them like a needle on a vinyl record, repeating over and over.

'_Is it because we're together?_'

He can't quite get past this statement, pronounced all of ten minutes ago by one Detective Kate Beckett; a dream he barely dared hope for.

_Together_. _We're_ _together_.

She'd just thrown the words right out there in the middle of the Precinct's break room like it was nothing.

He, of course, had ruined the moment by wittering on about Alexis feeling she was being replaced, and how she hadn't reacted that way to the hundreds of super hot…shit, he really had said that, hadn't he? _Super hot_ - seriously, Rick? And _hundreds?_ What a tool. Was he trying to impress her with promiscuity? Because he's pretty sure he knows her well enough by now to know that that's not her thing, and jeez, he's such an ass.

Kate Beckett just volunteered out loud that they were together, _finally_, and he says _that? _What a first class jerk.

* * *

When he looks up from twisting his hands, Kate is watching him, her eyes softer now, always softer when she looks at him these days, since the night of the rain and the tears and the needless apologies. He'd forgive her most anything, especially if it meant that she looked at him like this; so open and affectionate and trusting.

Kate bites her lip again, glances over at the boys to check their level of awareness, and then she leans forward in her chair, angling her body towards his.

"I'm calling Alexis," she says, keeping her voice low, her eyes on his face, not seeking permission, though she'd back down if he insisted, the girl is his child after all, and she's just the much-hated girlfriend it would seem.

His eyes betray confusion and for a second she wonders just what's going on in that twisty brain of his.

"Tonight," she adds, trying to clarify. "I…I'm going to call Alexis."

She leans forward even further, her hand almost coming to rest on the jean-clad knee he has casually propped over his other leg. She grips the edge of her desk instead, fingers flexing around the wood, holding her back from touching him.

"I made this mess, so I should be the one to fix it," she says with earnest determination.

They both know it's true. He started following her first, but then she got used to having him around, dragged him into case after case; eating up his time, fueling his devotion to her with scattered crumbs of promise, putting him in harm's way, nearly breaking his tender heart, all while his daughter had to watch, losing him to his Beckett obsession, causing her to pity the father she respected so much.

All of that was her fault, and not because she didn't love him. No, the truth was way worse than that. She kept him dangling by a thread simply because she was too scared to trust him with her heart, all while she watched him almost devour himself trying to protect hers.

Castle's staring at her lips now, and she lightly shakes her head at him, gently warning him off. This happens all the time now - if they get in each other's space wherever they are - the touching and the stroking and the kisses that quickly follow as easy as breathing, and Kate marvels continually at how comfortable this is, how natural the transition from partners to lovers. Four years of foreplay sure made for good practice.

* * *

"Castle, I need to fix this," she repeats when he doesn't answer her one way or the other.

"Fix what?" asks Ryan, jerking Esposito to attention with his question, pricking up the detective's nosey, gossip-seeking ears.

And not for the first time Kate thinks of twin babies sharing a crib, one always waking the other up just as the quiet one has finally fallen asleep. It's exhausting.

"What Castle break now?" pipes up Esposito, turning a delighted grin on the writer, always trying to get him in trouble these days for some reason Kate hasn't yet had the energy to fathom.

"Yeah, what did you touch this time that you weren't supposed to?" asks Ryan eagerly.

"Lanie said you answered Beckett's phone," adds Esposito for good measure. "You didn't break it did you, bro? 'Cause, seriously…"

"Are you tattletales quite done?" asks Kate, itching to defend her partner more strongly, but knowing it'll just look suspicious. "Jeez, I've had C.I.'s that squeal less than you two little snitches."

She tries to turn away, to return to their private conversation, but the boys are having none of it.

"So, what he do? Come on, Beckett, share," pushes Esposito, flicking his eyes to Castle to gauge his level of discomfort, trying to figure out just how big an infraction he's made this time and how much trouble he's in.

"What if it's something _I_ did, Javi? Hmm? You ever think of that?" suggests Kate, narrowing her eyes at him.

By the look on his face the answer is a definite _no_.

"Was it your chair?" asks Ryan, leaning over for a better view, looking for signs of damage, and totally ignoring Kate's attempt at a confession.

'_No, it's his daughter's heart,_' she so wants to say, because that would shut them up for sure, but she can't. So she says, "You got me. It's the chair thing again. Can't seem to stop him touching things, no matter what I tell him. So can we all just...get back to work?"

She gives Castle a deliberately heated look, and boy do they both know what '_things'_ she's imagining him touching right now, and it's got nothing to do with her stupid office chair, that's for sure.

"Then I guess it's coffees all round. You're turn to brew up, brother," fires Esposito, and Castle stands immediately, doesn't even argue, which Kate instantly realizes looks suspicious.

But then so is what happens next, and she doesn't even care, because he's still looking at her, eyes so blue, intelligent, and caring, and just so damn hot, forcing her out of her chair at his back without him uttering so much as a sound.

"I'll help," she says, trailing after him towards the (relative) privacy of the break room with their empty mugs dangling from her fingers.

"Not much of a punishment if you help him make the coffee, Beckett," calls Ryan at their retreating backs.

"I'm supervising. Don't want him breaking anything else," Kate tells him archly, prodding Castle in the spine for effect, when all she really wants to do is smooth her palms over his shoulder blades and round his chest, so she can press her cheek against the solid expanse of his back, molding her body up against him.

* * *

"She'll eat you alive," he repeats the second they're alone, always so in tune with her these days that the conversation just flows on. "I already told you I'd handle it."

"But you shouldn't have to. Please let me do this? I made the mess. I need to clear it up, Rick."

He wavers over her use of his Christian name, the word always feeling like a caress when it comes out of her mouth.

He lets out a long, slow breath, and turns to lean against the counter, coffee preparation totally forgotten.

"Kate, the only reason she has a problem with you is because she realizes how serious this is…for me…"

He's being so honest and grown-up and serious that her heart starts hammering in her chest. She takes a step forward, breaks her personal space rules, finds his fingers with her own and then snags his whole hand.

"Me too. This is serious, I mean, for me too. That's _why_ I need to fix this, Castle. I don't want any bad feeling between us. I need for this to not be awkward. She might be in college right now, but she's still in the city, and she's still your daughter, and there'll be visits home, and holidays, and family dinners…"

He's grinning at her when she drops his hand and looks up into his face, eyes crinkled around the edges, dark hair flopping over his forehead; handsome and adorable the way only he can pull off.

"Family dinners, Beckett? We're having those?" he teases, reaching for her hand again, but she steps back before he can get to her.

"Shut up," she hisses, punching him in the shoulder while laughing at his ability to poke fun at her and include her in the joke all at the same time.

"This isn't a contest, Kate. There will be no choosing you or her. I love you both, and while she will always be my little girl, she's on the cusp of her own future. She's moving on with her life, and soon she'll meet someone special of her own, God willing, and, _yes_, I'll probably hate him to begin with…"

"What if it's a _her_?" throws in Kate out of pure devilment, because he's so good at this – making her feel special and loved and secure, as if she has a preordained place in his life.

"If it's a _her,_ you're doing the sex talk," he lobs back at her, watching her smile grow, her eyes crinkling just like his as they watch one another work this out, sharing a moment of pride.

"So, as I was saying, before that little sapphic detour…"

"Sapphic, nice word. I like it," says Kate, nodding her approval before waving for him to continue on.

"She's growing up, flying the nest, and creating a future for herself. _I'm_ hoping _you'll_ be _my future_, Kate. Alexis will come round, believe me. She already knows how much I love you. And you're adorable, and smart, and kind, and you've been so good with her these last few years... She just needs time to get her head around what you and I already know - that this is real, and that it's happening with or without her blessing."

"You're sure?" asks Kate, nervously biting her lip again.

His words are so reassuring that she wants to just believe, and leave the rest up to fate. But she feels so much responsibility over this, and she doesn't want to shirk the hard work that's brought her so much joy, like the hours she put in with Dr. Burke.

"Sweetheart, I know my daughter. Just give it time."

He runs a hand down her arm ever so quickly, before adding, "But I love that you care enough to let it worry you."

"What's worrying you, and where's my coffee?" asks Esposito, bursting in through the partially open door, his dirty mug in hand.

"_Nothing!_" they both say simultaneously, whirling round to look at him, as Esposito physically balks at their synchronicity.

"You guys seriously don't practice that when we're not around?" he asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at them.

"We don't need to Javi. Got it down to a fine art already. And frankly," she says, leveling him with a withering gaze, "we have better things to do with our time," she adds cryptically, sweeping out of the room, leaving Esposito staring at a shrugging Castle.


End file.
